Powerpoint Magician T-Shirts

'Well done! This works much better.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Life of Pi

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Desert Island BBQ

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Primitive magician

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"I can't believe he brought her."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

If Disney was a software company

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Smoke and mirrors.

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."