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"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

"Where would young families be without grandparents as unpaid childminders?"

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

"Our training on managing a work life balance is running late so you'll need to get someone to pick your kids up."

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

'Talk about tough days.'

"Tough time getting out of the house this morning?"

'Alert the troops I'm going back to work.'

'Sorry dear, I have to go straight to work tomorrow.'

"You be the Boogey man tonight!"

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

"I don't know who is more tired, the kids playing soccer, baseball, softball, tennis, lacrosse, volleyball and basketball, or me taking them."

"Daddy, I'm all grown up now, and I'm leaving to start a life of my own."

"Mom! Download this app, make an account, sign in and scan this code to see what I made for you."

'How do you block the kids from objectionable internet content? I found a bookmark called,'DriveYourParentsInsane'.'

"I'm dealing with tweens at home and fiends at work."

"We should decide now whose career will suffer more once I give birth."