Power Outage Commentator Prints

'It's a repeat of last thursday's power cut.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

Facelook

The Fuse

Pundits

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Defunding the police vs defunding education

"The election is underway!"

Today stocks fell gently like snow dropping on cedars...

Unsocial Networking.

'I called the electric company and told them not to hurry to restore power.'

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

Justice for a heckler.

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"I'm starting a Kickstarter campaign to fund a rival to Kickstarter."

'And if you're not confused yet, you will be when this bloke has finished.'

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

"Tonight's big story... we're leaving you... it's not you, it's us..."

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

"This week on Sunday Hot Takes, the wage gap between men and women - is it really such a bad thing? Jill, you hate other women, start us off with something awful."

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"After he got his cell phone, I'm only his second-best friend!"

'On a personal note, I'm happy to report that I've been promoted from the network's chief 'pundit' to chief 'pontificator'.'

"Weather rebuttal."

"Coming up on political gymnastics, the next candidate will try a triple reverse flip flop..."

Prepare for the fad herald. If only he'd be my Facebook friend. Today, a special announcement. Special announcement? Hubbub hubbub hubbub. I speak to you today of Twitter. We have an unusual split decision with regard to a strange concept with a captivating name. Hear ye: The brand name Twitter is: In. But actually using the service is: Out. You may commence with not bothering to tweet or learn anything more about it. So declared. Free @last.

Presidential Pardons of the Rich and Famous.

'Once again, you were right only fifty percent of the time. Have you considered a career as a TV weatherman?'