Poverty Ponderer Pillows

The rich, the poor and the terrorist...

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

'Mom says she has a souffl

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"Life isn't fair, and that's what makes it fun."

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

'Confusionism'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'Ted, you won't climb the corporate ladder if you keep taking paternity leave!'