Potting Wizard Gifts

'This bloke is good.' - 'He's even better when he takes his cue out of it's case.'

Instructional guide to scribbling

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

D.I.Y

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

Woman knitting a washing line.

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

"Most projects require three hands."

"That could've been ours. But noooo...You and your DIY."

Woodpecker carves David out of tree.

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

'It's worse than we thought... You've got termites.'

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

Ancenstry.com Your results: Oak: 80% Pine: 12% Maple: 3% Unknown: 5%

"Harold finds painting very therapeutic."

Carpenter

'Ingredients: 'pine, ash, walnut, nails, insulation materials of unknown origin and all-natural asphalt shingles.'

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

Reality home-improvement show.

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'It's always the same design. I wish he'd get a more imaginative set of house plans.'

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

Oh, good - Looks like the doctor's in.

"The Ten Commandments Do-It-Yourself Kit"

'That was some varnish remover!'

'Joe makes all our own funiture!'

Roddy McDowall