Posture Awareness Gifts

No Skateboard. No Slouching.

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

Office Ergonomics.

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"It's just a hunch, but you spend a lot time at your computer, don't you?"

Computer neck.

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"In short, then, I'm looking for a job that matches my sense of entitlement!"

"The doctor said I've got 'texter's slump'."

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

Office Ergonomics.

'My chiropractor said that since I had the twins my posture has improved.'

'Man, I hate it when she wears heels.'

Two men, one with his abdomen outside his trousers, the other with it inside. 'The Tummy Tuck.'

'I'd say it's pre-liposuction.'

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol, triglycerides, and ego are all too high.'

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

The Incredible Skulk

'Stop kicking the back of my chair!'

"Synchronized sitting"

'Really, a foreign wine? What will the NSA think?'

"I should have bought toys with better posture."

'I like you and all, it's just I usually don't date anyone shorter than me.'

Mother commenting on daughter's posture

Publish Your Weight Machine for Celebrities

Chiropractic Air. Please return your seats to an upright position, keep your shoulders back, bend your knees at a right angle, and place both feet flat on the floor.

"People don't agree on PRECISELY the right language but it's generally agreed that 'humongous lardy fat lump' is probably overstepping the mark."

How To Sit When You Are A Kid

Laparoscopic surgeons' night out.

"You have Tech-neck."

'Mine!'

'How much do you weigh?'

"Hello there, Mulligan's pillows for better posture, let me leave you a brochure."