Post-marriage Trip Gifts

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."

Tourists

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

Lounging by the pool

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

"I've heard this airline's got some unusual inflight entertainment."

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

'Did you say psst?.'

"Excuse me, but have you ever thought of play the mandolin?"

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"OK, now what?"

WPOV's (White People On Vacation)

'How many 'fun filled days' did you say you'd booked for us on this holiday?'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"All I see is more trees."

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

'For Zeus' sake, man, get me some sunblock or a hat.'

Excess Baggage: Many couples pack for trips in totally different ways.

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Couple checking out of a hotel.

"My husband always brings back mementos from our vacation trips...Yellowstone, Florida, Australia..."

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

'There you go, Jack, I saved you some space.'

The very rare and elusive, Rocky Mountain Big Horned Cow.

Viking Rover Cruises

"It was very amicable—I gave her everything."

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home from your overseas vacation.

Lady vicar offering new bride a husband owner's manual.

"Do you, Paul Bergerson, take this traffic ticket..."

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

'I have this feeling we've forgotten something.'