Post-college Transition Pillows

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Others will fight for you

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Work/Life Balance

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Yes, can I help you?'

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Between Offices

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"