Career Transition Pillows

"At least you didn't get the axe."

"Your accomplishments speak for themselves. Unfortunately for you, I'm completely fluent in exaggeration."

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'

Man to man about man at desk being watered: 'A bit of nurturing and he should grow into the job nicely.'

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

'You've changed.'

"Henry, I'm beginning to think we're on different career paths."

"I used to lose my secretaries because they were getting married - now they leave to start their own companies."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'It appears we've accidentally laid off all the people who 'do' things.'

'Silk route' and 'rather course woolen route' in a desert.

'We'll keep your application on file and if we ever lower our standards...'

'Looks like your spell check was turned off when you prepared your resume.'

"By the way, clean out your desk means your fired."

Climbing to the top.

"We need a dedicated team player. How are you at toiling in obscurity?"

"We only hire temps, and you have a look of permanence about you."

The Next Big Thing/ The Next Best Thing.

'Would you prefer a quick termination or a slow, painful phaseout?'

'All those in favour of accepting more robots?'

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

"Mr. Herman, you made me laugh and you made me cry, but you didn't make me money."

'I really enjoyed my job. Management found out about it and fired me.'

Help wanted. Various positions available.

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

He was forced to take early retirement.

"Brodman, after giving it much thought, I've decided to let you go for no apparent reason."

Slot machine - Early retirement.

"We've decided, Carmichael, to give you back to the community."

'Long term I want to enhance my leadership skills and ascend the corporate ladder. Short term I want to enjoy a mocha latte.'

'And this last chart illustrates why none of you are here anymore. Questions?'

'You must be the one inquiring about the 'temp' position...'

'Sorry, I've been head-hunted by another pride.'

'Power suits are great for up-and- comers. For you, I recommend the wrongful dismissal suit.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"