Post-christmas Pillows

'Blowtorch the decorations and weedkiller the tree.'

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"When you're finished with your Thanksgiving

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

"What a great way to end our winter breaks! We came here alone...but we're not leaving alone!"

'I just needed to get away for a while and recharge my batteries.'

"Wow, another turkey sandwich?"

"So... how was Disneyland?"

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Underneath an overweight.

January Clearance

December 26th . . . The Returns

"No in-laws, no office parties, no shopping...I'm experiencing a Post Holiday High!"

EXIT POLLS, 14TH PRECINCT, 'May I ask who you voted for, sir?', 'Please! -- I'm trying to forget!'

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"

"Do we even have a garbage disposal?"

"Gracie, I know it means a lot to you...but the Christmas tree has got to go."

"Oh, I'm feeling alright. My post holiday elation is cancelling out my seasonal affective disorder."

The Day After Christmas DAy

Do you have a 'back from holiday' loan?

'I'm afraid we don't take returns on food!'

'Tell your brother to stop it before Dill starts crying.'

Putting Christmas away...

'The perfect after-christmas gift.'

"Do you think it's safe yet, Randy?"

What I miss is the vulgar commercialism at Christmas time.