Populist Challenger Gifts

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

New Memer/Incumbent

Palin 2012

"I'm the kind of woman nobody calls pumpkin."

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"We were running late, so my mom faxed me to school."

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

Voting Difficulties

Scott Walker keeps his job.

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'You can't do anything right. What you need is confidence.'

Welcome to Washington DC...Beware election year politics.

''The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth'? -- How patriarchal can you get?'

'The terms of my parole make it impossible for me to return to my seat in congress with known criminals.'

"No more fake news, alternative facts, or conspiracy theories. If elected, I promise to go back to old-fashioned lying!"

"Questions have been raised about our leadership skills!"

"While your idea is novel and innovative, it questions the status quo and can harm those entrenched in this organization. I'm ruling it out as being too disruptive."

"Shoot. I'm gonna be late to class again."

Congressman Yomp: 'It's true, I've flimed, but I swear, I've never flammed!'

"Before I say anything, I'd like to have my friend, who wants to be a lawyer when he grows up, present"

European Elections

'Instead of being just like Michael Jordan, I wanna be just like Barack.'

"All too human is fine- unless, of course, it's all too often."

"Now that we've all had a good dose of red meat, who wants to write an attack ad??"

'Sorry I'm late - traffic was insane.'

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