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Benedict Cumberbatch

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Time Machine Collision

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'Sean Connery was the best James Bond!'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Is Madonna amazing or what? She sings, dances, and acts, and now it turns out she's a writer, too."

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"I must say Jeff, there's something about your personal brand that I find refreshing."

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

"When I was a teenager 'Saturday Night Live' had Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman..."

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"It's a cross between pop and rap. We call it 'pap.'"

Don Jr.

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"It's not easy being green…"

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''