Poopocalypse Survivor Pillows

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

"It's a grave situation, Mrs. Conway. It appears to be an extremely aggressive form of flesh-eating lawyer."

"Your 2 am is here."

"Some Rain Forest this is..."

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

'Enforcing the publish or perish rule, Dean McWit?'

'zzz... nyarrrgh... fwa... ...ack... k... na...graa...' - '' - 'I just had the worst dream...' - '' - 'Oh, b***ocks.' - ''

The menu said this soup is recommended for mature diners, and is rated "AFS." What does that stand for? "Adult fly situations."

'I don't give Zombie Apocalypses out to anybody as gifts I'm afraid.'

"She's looking for just the right place to poopie."

No read publishing.

Adam and Eve tempted by apple in hazmat suits.

'Come on, Larry! You don't have time to make a bucket list!'

Dance of the Inconsistent Water Temperature

Mayhem, Inc. Part 12

'Another October 30, another failed Halloween candy sleepover.'

Look out! Daisy's done a flaoter!

2042

Before the corona virus there were zombie movies today there is The Walking Idiots...they're not wearing masks! They drool death!!

A woman is attacked by toilet water

He was an early riser. She knew it, but never really got used to it.

"You think your people are weird, mine follows me around on walks and bags my poop."

"Uhhh, I just need your ID, sir."

The only good thing about my recurring nightmare is that it's slightly better than my recurring days.

Death is unemployed.