Poolside Comedian Pillows

Diver bouncing so high he flies out of the pool.

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

'Drew has always wanted to learn to water-ski, so we go this lap pool.'

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

'Ha! Fake out!'

'Hey, you in the cap-I see what you're doing! Out of the pool!'

"As you can see, I already have a towel."

I invited him to join me for a couple of laps and he drank half the pool.

No petting in the pool!

'Don't press so hard, I almost drowned back there!'

'Is that a thong or is your rear end devouring your swimsuit?'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

Brighton Bersagliere.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

Dolphin tricks.

'I think its being tapped.'

Scene on the English coast.

"Here he comes! Don't move."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

Tentacle attacking diver.

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

'Aren't you supposed to drop the clam on the rock?'

Bomb's Away

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"

'That would be way embarrassing.'

'Which is the deep end?'

Ah heck, don't complain now! This is just the 'Warm-up'!

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

'Synchronised swimming.'

"Just the bait, please."