Pond Perfectionist T-Shirts

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

Water Gardening: Some people get pleasure from working out ambitious schemes.

Water Gardening: Others prefer the modern, easy way.

Installing the garden pond

'Why not put it in position first then fill it with water?'

Wildlife

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

Surreal ale

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

Business Duck

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

'Quick, press control Z!'

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Sleeping on the Job

"Just a drop."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Quality Contorl.

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

Ventriloquist's fete

'My ultimate ambition is a large pond.'

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.