Pond Perfectionist T-Shirts

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

Water Gardening: Some people get pleasure from working out ambitious schemes.

Water Gardening: Others prefer the modern, easy way.

Installing the garden pond

'Why not put it in position first then fill it with water?'

Wildlife

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Fisherman Evolution: They have evolved over the years with three distinct species...the largest of these is the coarse fisherman.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

Surreal ale

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

Business Duck

'Quick, press control Z!'

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

Ricochet

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"Just a drop."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Sleeping on the Job

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

Quality Contorl.

'My ultimate ambition is a large pond.'

Vernal Pond: Here today. . . gone tomorrow.

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

'It's so embarrassing. My mother had my tadpole tail bronzed!'