Politico Pundit Gifts

Donald Trump Really Will Drain That D.C. Swamp

Stimulus bust

"There's a rubber dinghy in front! Probably full of German economic refugees again..."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Where does it all end up?

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Obama Healthcare.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

'It's cheaper than gas.'