Political Speech Maker T-Shirts

"Oh no Henry - Not Another one of your proclamations!"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Political convention

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

Time for speeches

"The White House Washington"

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'