Political Newspaper Reader Prints

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Reading the sports pages.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

"I've seen a tulip before."

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Are those my slippers?!"

When Dogs Appear To Be Thinking.

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

"Someday when you have a kid of your own and you feel the urge to arbitrarily say no just because you can, you'll understand."

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

'Obama's letting all the progress we made in Iraq go right down the drain...He's trying to distract everybody...'

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

"I hope I live long enough to see Bush's view of his legacy come true! I'll be around a long, long, long time!"

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

'Line up for your economic recovery treatment!'

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

An Arm and a Leg.

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"God has chosen to ignore my prayers concerning the outcome of this year's election, and so I feel that I am once again free to be a very bad little boy."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'That's nothing new. Thatcher had a similar plan, but she called hers; 'Every man for himself'.'

Dog fetching a newspaper and then reading it himself.