Political Irony Lovers Gifts

Nanny state.

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

End the Winter Blues

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"Very Presidential."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Split Decision

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Ursula von der Leyen Surrounded By Donald Trump Heads on Island

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"Barry stop!. . . I'm you! I'm Barry from 2008. I'm using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!"

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

'This pie chart clearly demonstrates the distain with which most people regard pie charts.'