Political Inauguration Pillows

"...and will to the best of my ability, which is terrific ability, by the way. Everyone agrees, I have fantastic ability. So there's no problem with my ability, believe me..."

Kamala Harris

The rule of thumb was unspectacular, and consisted mostly of strict new regulations on nail clipping.'

'Thank you for flying with the United States of America . . . the captain will now open the bomb-bay doors and send you and all your possessions to their final destination.'

Inauguration

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

Joe Biden

Joe Biden

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

The new president to the rescue.

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

Beware of the Legislation

The Art of the Possible

New Mandate - Gun Control, Immigration Reform, Jobs, End of War, and Health Reform.

'Oh, we could reduce the deficit, but it'd just leave stretch marks.'

Biden presidency

Explosives: Libyan Oil

America's New Dawn

"Clinton spoke at my inauguration, and it's so cold outside-can he crash here for another week?"

Francois Hollande

"We're going have to build higher walls."

President Bush's inauguration.

"Place your left hand on the Bible, raise your right hand, and repeat after me, 'Wow, I can't believe this is happening to me.'"

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"Two strikes, how about I throw you a slow ball?"

The First Family

Bernie Sanders

'Just pretend they're not here. They're my transition team.'