Political Humor Fan Pillows

Trump or Creamsicle?

'It's the competitive tendering process.'

'Coalition of the willing.'

"Sire, they also want dental."

'It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy!'

"I think I'm just going to sit this recession out."

Three wise men give gifts to Jesus and sign a Register of Donors.

"Megalomaniac is such a passe label. We prefer to call it mediocrity challenged these days."

Self Serve Road Repair.

"Are there several doctors in the house, so we can have a little managed competition?"

National scapegoat committee: 'So that's agreed - once again we blame shortsighted, lefthanded redheads.'

'We have to make huge cuts in spending, which means. . . Difficult decisions ahead which means. . . We hire more consultants!'

'True, but fraud and waste in government is an important part of our economy.'

"The NHS will honour it's pledge to care for everybody from cradle to grave(ly ill)"

'What burns me is those bums who evade US taxes by being born in some foreign country and just staying there!'

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

'My mom's pregnant. At first I was worried about the competition until I remembered that I was the incumbent.'

"Start the economy."

A Federal Agency to Eliminate Federal Agencies

'. . . It's not a bribe, it's a personalised stimulus package.'

Where's This Kid's Birth Certificate?

NHS development plan

"Now, should we add something at the end about how wise we are and therefore nothing in here should ever be changed?"

Oliverachy - Short-lived political system where leaders were chosen by how many olives they could fit in their mouths.

'I can't find ANY of our hidden agendas!'

"Major Funding. How much do you need?"

Sadly, Harper had never heard of the Nigerian letter scam.

Hydroxy

'It's fifty bucks for a half hour, and of course ten percent of that goes to the disaster relief fund.'

'Will you bogus-marry me?'

Job Centre, "Terrorism is all you know?... Have you ever thought of a job as a school teacher?!"

I.R.S: Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.'

When the President's adviser makes a mistake.

'I'm hoping this big stick will give me a mandate.'

An Unnamed Sauce