Political Correctness Pundit Pillows

'To avoid lawsuits, tonight's news will not name names.'

'Looks good to me, but I'll run it past Bill O'Reilly!'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

'We are no longer called criminals! We're called 'Legally Disadvantaged'.'

'Sorry, dear... But taking phallic symbols to a laid up grandmother is an offense against Political Correctness. Now, I'm gonna eat you.'

"Excuse me, but I happen to identify as a left-handed person and this is a right-handed mug."

"I'm after the history section."

"I'll have a skinny latte..."

BC/AD kerfuffle

"This is Professor McPhee, sir -- he wants to start a 'plump studies' department."

"Using terms like, 'radical Islamic terrorism,' is only making them mad, Mr President."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

"Why so sad?...I'm a history teacher that failed to cover every photo of the rebel flag in the text books...now the school board wants me and my students to gouge our eyes out!"

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

'I'm the ghost of non-sectarian midwinter public holiday future.'

'We're quitting-me and my calendar!'

"Two Rodent-Americans Pursed by a Feline-American."

'You can't say that! Try the not 'white knight' or the lack of coloured pigment knight'.

Non discrimination to Vampires

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

"Your continued use of that phrase victimizes my people."

"Objection, Your Honor - The witness's testimony is politically incorrect!"

I Scream

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."