
'Hi, I'm ringing on behalf of your husband. He's been held up.'
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'Hi, I'm ringing on behalf of your husband. He's been held up.'
'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'
"Number 2. Step forward please."
"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"
Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"
Newton's Law and Order.
"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"
"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."
Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.
'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'
"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."
Melted Snow Man behind police cordon
'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'
'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'
"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."
'Asking for a lawyer was a good move. You can't outsmart the cops by yourself.' (Lawyer is a puppet being operated by policeman).
"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"
Al Pacino
'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'
'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'
I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.
"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"
'You got a search warrant?'
"Law & Order: Museum Guards."
"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."
Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'
Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.
"You keep changing your story, flower, so I'm gonna ask you one last time."
Waking the Dead.
Wimpy Harry
"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."
"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"
'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'
The Automatic Policeman
'It's the best investment I ever made - a 'random alibi generator.''
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