Poker Face Gifts

Hit me.

Betting With Cow Chips.

'Lazarus, I'll raise you.'

Gambling was in his blood. Couldn't help it - he had an irregular heartbeat. Even his pulse was impulsive.

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

"Right now all my money is in poker."

'So, which way up do the cards go?'

"I told you we'd lose the house."

'Once again, I fold.'

I'm sorry sir, losing them in a card game doesn't count.

"No, Bob, you can't move all-in...we're playing Bridge!"

True biblical stories.

"How about a game of strip poker?"

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

'I lost to him in poker, but I don't owe him money. Instead, you have to clean his house for a year. You look angry.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Shh...I'm counting cards. I think there's 52.'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'Doesn't the book say I'm supposed to hit on a ten?'

'I'm just trying to protect the Queen.'

'I thought you could count cards.' - 'I did count them. There were 52 in each deck.'

Is that an ace you're hiding, Ron?

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'Cards? Sure -- I've got some time to kill.'

Wild Bill Hicock was able to earn a nice living playing cards with illerates....

'Okay, ladies - the name of the game is Strip Poker.'

'What will you do now your eminence?'

Welcome to Las Vegas - Forefront of the great American luck ethic.

"Is the joker part of a full house?"

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave sir. The management suspects you of counting cards."

"The winner gets to use the up-to-date textbooks this semester."

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

"What the hell is a jack?"

"What do four ones beat?"

"I'm happy to be the 'dummy', but I prefer the term 'marionette.'"