Pointillism Fan Pillows

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

The Origami Society...

Well la de da. . .

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"I need a special pencil for math...one with a lot less wood and a lot more eraser."

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

Forty-five words per minute? Impossible!

Deer Cross Dressing.

Cyclopetrist's Waiting room

"I don't think my parents have a lot of confidence in me."

Pencil sharpeners in hell

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

Clown Painting in Museum

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

'Stranger?.. No, it's definitely a tall, dark strangler.'

'Before computers and word processors, we were nerds with slide rules and very sharp pencils!'

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

I (heart) dogs. Me too! The saying "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog" is often attributed to Harry Truman. Presidents and their dogs have a special bond. Recent presidential dogs include Barack Obama's "Bo" and George W. Bush's "Barney." Truman should have had a pooch named "Buck." Because Buck would always stop here. I wish Ronald Reagan had owned a dog named "Gorbachev." Mister Gorbachev, chase down this ball! And I'll bet John Kennedy thought all dogs should be rewarded

"You're goin' up the river, Sammy."

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

'Man in suit wears tie in shape of a pencil.'

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

"You want to reel your neck in, mate."

Pop Up Pointillism.

A lumberjack leans against a giant pencil that reads "Giant Sequoia Brand No .2".

"Bill!..That woman staring at you from the bushes, isn't that Jane Goodall"