Poetry Dreamer Gifts

"Oh, that's Herbert's muse."

Accountant Manqué

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

Couple looking at the statue of Eros by moonlight.

Bookworm Sleepover

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"Mr. Right!"

"Someone must love someone very much indeed."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Giant using sheep as cotton buds

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

'You're hopeful - worrying about what underwear to wear for the office party!'

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

Awkward First Dates

'Actually, most brides would find being stranded on a deserted beach very romantic...'

'I considered running away, but since I'll probably be living at home until I'm 38, it's a bad career move.'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

Sinking with your heart

"You might ask, 'Can two people who love each other find happiness in an era of skyrocketing deficits?' I think they can."