Podium Pretender T-Shirts

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

Equality Championships

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

First Prize!

Jungle Games

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

Culture, Media and Sport Podium.

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

Champions biting their medals

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

Loser's Podium.

1 2 3

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

Bahrain F1

Sportsperson is happy with most likes

A medal podium with places for first, second and third is contrasted with a spot at the bar for fourth place.

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

"I'm going to make eye contact only with this side because of the crick in my neck."

"Feel free to use it. It's an emergency escape hatch if you say something controversial."

"Because we're jerks."

Skiers

Dyslexic Olympics.

'Thank you for that kind introduction, Ed, but frankly, I would've liked a little further ado.'

"This is our new 'winning isn't everything' approach."

Gymnastic Winner.

Winner Celebrating with Champagne

'The games console has saved us a fortune in holidays. We told him we were seeing the pyramids but we were actually in Skegness. He didn't notice.'

Third place sabotaging first place on medal stand.

"What's next?"

Sanna Marin party

Boris Johnson Loses

"Well, no, but I always rooted for them."