Podiatry Student Pillows

"And now for this week's episode of, 'The fallen Arches'."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Hmph. College kids.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"They grow up so fast."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

The cell phone soother for life.

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

"The first one's just a warning."