Plumbing Punster Pillows

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"If this doesn't clear it, then you can call the plumber!"

Vicar with three taps: hot, cold and holy.

'Say, aren't you the guy who owns the theater I go to? The one with $5 small sodas and $6 popcorn?. . . Well then, you'll understand if my bill for unstopping your sink is $33,000?'

The Romance Between the Tap and the Cup.

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Sweep the board.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."