Plumbing Passion Pillows

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

'No it's still not fixed'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

Septic Fields Forever.

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"Excuse me Mr. Plumber, my son just called, please be careful not to disturb his genetically altered aquatic scorpion colony."

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

I hate it when they start without us.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'You should have called me sooner.'

"I see you've had a go at mending the dripping tap."

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

"You should have called earlier."

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

Feng Shui for Plumbers

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"