Plotting Participant Gifts

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Oceanographer

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

'The only thing that made sense was the violence.'

Writer Will Work For One Good Plot Idea

'Lower.No,lower. A way lower. - Under the arms.Under the arms! Around his chest! OK listen...- Do you want to learn the Heimlich manoeuvre or not?!!!'

"Please, sir, do you have any spare plot ideas?"

'So! THis is what you do all day.'

Movies made for under eight million dollars.

Man lifts up the pages of a book and discovers a brick wall.

'I'm a little surprised you got planning permission.'

Finally - a software package that makes it snap to write that novel.

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

I'm not avoiding you!

"Ding dong ditch is fun, but it's better to watch their reactions when you pretend to be soliciting."

Donald Trump

'I can enjoy an 'unfinished novel', but this will be the last time I'll buy an 'UNSTARTED novel'...'

'Someone call a doctor, Bob's had an art attack!'

'Frankly, your investment portfolio dropping 42 isn't quite the mystery plot we're looking for.'

'It's Gardner's Question Time for you.'

"I knew we shouldn't have let Health and Safety run the self defence course!"

'Have you lost the plot?'

Desk bins: Exposition, Complication, Climax, Resolution.

'Shhh. He's just playin' dead. Thinks he can survive the Flush.'

St Patrick's Day

"Actually, I'v done some of my most devious thinking in the old time-out chair."