
'Read any good book reviews lately?'
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'Read any good book reviews lately?'
"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"
'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'
"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"
"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"
"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"
"Are these 'raw' facts or 'spun' facts?"
"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."
Department of Dot Connection
Portrait of Sigmund Freud
"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."
'His tell-all book will be the first step of rehabilitation.'
'Remember, Stevens, things are rarely what they appear to be.'
'Of course there are more bureaucrats than field workers! It's more fun to create regulation, than to actually enforce it!'
'Since the universe is rapidly expanding, there's a lot more that we have to worry about now.'
"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."
"What can I get you?" "An explanation for that dumb reason why Batman and Superman stopped fighting at the end of Batman v Superman." "Would you like that spoiler-filled or spoiler-free?" "Spoiler-filled would be lovely, please." "Ok. Batman did not stop fighting Superman just because both of their moms were named 'Martha.'" "'Martha' was not just a person. In Batman’s nightmares, 'Martha' had come to represent all that was good about him." "When Superman whispered 'Martha,' it did t
Stanley Hibblemeyer suddenly realizes that he is only a theoretical physicist.
Pentagon Science Contest: 'You've got a time machine! Just go to the future when scientists figured out how to travel to another solar system, then come back with the solution and win half a million bucks.'
'Tonight the remains of Jimmy Hoffa have finally been discovered with what appears to be millions upon millions of unpaired socks.'
Blackhole Research.
Julian Assange
"I downloaded this public sector tender we should consider bidding for. I’m hoping that these new Procurement Regulations will make it a less tortuous exercise." "Based on that first page I suggest nothing has changed..."
"But if you've given up on a fifth force, how can you possibly discover a sixth force?"
'Sir, the stupidity of your actions was directly proportional to the number of surveillance cameras watching you.'
'So what we thought was dark matter is really dark energy.'
Three people hypnotised by a self-hypnosis book.
"And to think we started as a book club."
Did we end last week with an awesome, startling cliffhanger, or what? I mean, there you dear reader were, thinking what incredible revelation is forthcoming? How could you hint that Sadie Cohen, resident irascible octogenarian, has a dark secret, and then just break for the weekend? And yet … despite the fact that we esteemed and handsome cartoonists taunted you with such a remarkable tease, such a breakthrough narrative moment, we have not been inundated with cards and letters begging for the t
Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory
I'm not avoiding you!
"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"
'We find the defense and prosecution arguments totally confusing without a doubt.'
"I've just discovered the universe is built from trillions and trillions of lego blocks!"
'So, I told him, 'Reality is for people who can't handle drugs'.'
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