Plea Deal Ponderer Mugs

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

Extreme Sisyphus

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

'I propose a cooling off period of 100 years?'

"We're studying the legal principles of 'crossing a heart and hoping to die'."

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

The Good Samaritan.

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

'Holding! Number 74 on the offense!... Fifteen years to life in prison...'

"My basic judicial philosophy is 'Guilty.'"

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

"Sorry, self defense can't be a plea in a fraud case."

I Do Not have OCD

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

'Credit crunch? Wassat then?'

'If it's any consolation, us getting sent to the Principal's office is now trending on Twitter.'

'It's for you.'

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

'Oh, the Lord was with me, but after the trial, he went home and I went to jail.'

You've tried to get them kicked out of Eden for eating pears, bananas, mangoes and plums: Try apples this time...

Parables and Sermons