Plea Bargain Puzzler Pillows

"Sorry, self defense can't be a plea in a fraud case."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"You can't plead cute."

Sale.

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

The Bargain Brand

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

Boomerang Sale! - No Returns

Black Friday

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

'I hope you kept the receipt.'

"How much is the sign?"

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

'The price or the biscuits?'