Playground Wrangler T-Shirts

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"I'm so good at this!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

Playground Pipe Dreams

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"Where's your nose?"

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

The First Day Back

"They say you're as smart as a 2-year-old child? As a 2-year-old...I don't see it!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Nanny with children on leash

'Did you want me, boss?'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

Baby. 3 Year Old.Baby. 3 Year Old.

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms