Playground Peacemakers T-Shirts

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

"So, what do you do for play?"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

HR - Helping Relationships

'Red rover, red rover, send Billy right over!'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

'Sorry, I can't come: Young Master has joined the scouts and tied me up with a fancy knot I can't work out...'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

Interfaith dialogue

"You're young enough to play tag, but not old enough to borrow my phone to play phone tag."

Bouncy Castle: May Cause Happiness

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

Boys in the cloakroom.

Headphone swing

"Don't be scared, David! Mommy's here with your crumb of validation."

'Let's arbitrate.'

"I bet you kids are all losing your minds without a wi-fi signal."

'Quick! Get me the dispute resolution mediator!'

"He goes to a real party preschool."

Modern Nursery Rhymes

General says, 'Gentlemen, no more war. Because of health concerns they've recalled everything that contains lead, like our bullets.'

'When we agreed to peace talks - I was thinking of something a little more . . . I don't know congenial.'

Ukraine Crisis

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

Boss in front of angry mob: 'Put it in writing.'

'Just because I'm preparing your retirement benefits package, doesn't mean I've ever forgotten the nasty name you called me back in '89!'

War and Peace

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

"I think our coffee shop is going after an even younger market."