Playground Humorist Pillows

Beta testing childsplay

'So you got five dollars from the Toothfairy... Big deal! My teeth are worth thousands on the black market...'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"Here! Let me get you all in!"

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

"Oh, it's just more white-male stuff."

"Jeez, Honey, will you hurry up in there? I've been hibernating all winter, too, y'know!"

"This is the only time of the year when we get to hit the children."

"And then, after they were done with their bodies, they baked them at 350 degrees for an hour."

'No, I'm his cousin, Sasquash.'

"Fetch and roll over weren't enough-then they sent me to philosophy classes."

'Oh come on, there's only one of them, you just have to keep an eye out.'

"It was a professional hit..."

'I have to hang up now. I'm getting some static on another line.'

"I can't wait to get to the campground...back to mother nature!"

'He's clever alright-just watch him dry up when it's HIS round!'

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

Sent to the corner on school sports day.

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

'Dads On Steroids' Dad swung his child through fence accidentally.

Campground Wi-fi.

"Why yes I am a NASA engineer. Why do you ask?"

"I'm not sure I can really help you. I've dealt with hundreds of rodent infestations, but I've never even heard of Beerkats!"

"What do I do when I get to the top?"

'So far, everyone of them has overshot the drop zone.'

"O.K., now, when a teacher comes out, everybody look straight up."

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

'Well my Mom made me wear it, so she could distinguish me from six when we're jumping.'

"So, I hear you swing both ways."