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Intellectual Foreplay...

Cat Towels

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'Out, damned Spot.'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'Hard to follow...'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

A Poet

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

The Meaning of Life

Jump-Rope Rhymes For Adults

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

'Publisher recommends a good paper shredder.'

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

"How many times have I told you? Stop playing on the stairs!"

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

"I hope you don't mind but I used a couple of your ugly ties for a tail."

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

'When I was ready to read, they taught me to tie my shoes - when I was ready to tie my shoes, they taught me to read.'