Playful Performer Gifts

Pole dancing

Helium Guitar Festival

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

Centaur had spots painted on him so he can play a cow.

'You only want to do it now when people are watching.'

Pogo Cellist

"Bruh, that is some SERIOUS kazoo."

"More helium."

'Let's get some play-doh and make happy masks.'

'Freddy Kameahmeah, uncrowned king of Hula dancers. His hoop hasn't seen the ground in six months.'

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

Christmas Belle!

Naked Hamlet

Policeman

Sailor boy

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I had a fear of speaking in front of people, which is why I shadow puppet and sing the lessons."

"And this song goes out there to any girl who might consider sleeping with me."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Cow Show Tunes

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

'Play it again, Sam.'

Tuning Up for the Air Guitar Competition

"I can't believe he brought her."

"Bravo!"