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No, dear, you didn

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

Skeleton playing fetch.

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'Hey, Jeffrey...I've got a physics question for you...The queen of static electricity is exempt! Hail me!!'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

Playing pig

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

'Casey laughed so hard at lunch milk came out his nose...or as we say now... he had a liquid food malfunction.'

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

Halloween health & safety.

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

'She said she was made out of sugar and spice, so I bit her.'

"What the? ... Where’d the? ... How’d ya? ... Get down here!"

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

'Gee, mom, how DID that happen? Maybe we better Google it!'

Whale blowing soap-bubbles.

"You're definitely in the top 1,000,000,000 people on this planet."

Abdul is a great baby-sitter!

'Oh, we're just here so Rusty can shop around for a new fence to dig under.'

"I told you we should have given them treats!"

'I thought you said he was housetrained!'

"Very impressive. . . internet troll."

Why is your two-year old so quiet?

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

Unexpected return

"Hey, will you kids stop trying to stick fridge magnets on your Aunt Marge!"

Urine sample