Playful Gift Giver Gifts

sex shop - "Theres plenty more filth inside"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"And at no extra charge I can give your old suit a Viking funeral."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Christmas Presents.

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

"Shouldn't have, you really."

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

'We may need to remove your spleen because it might not be doing whatever it is the spleen does.'

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'Darling, I want you to have this lock of my hair to remind you how much I love you.'

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

"Great news! Jim at work's promised to lend me all his World Cup DVDs"

'Hand these out to the workforce.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

WC problem.

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Shop for cats

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

"... Er, Houston... It would appear that there is life on Mars, after all!"

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

"This locket contains my very first username and password."

Knowing that Roger loathed the new cat, Janelle tried to win him over by knitting him a pair of boxers made out of fur balls.

'They think I can walk on water.'

Masky Christmas!