Playful Dads T-Shirts

"Wanna split a ride uptown?"

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

'She's just great with the children.'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

'The kids were so sweet...'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Werewolves of London..."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Circus Act

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Wheeeeeeee!"

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."