Playdate Wrangler Gifts

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

She - Interpreter - He.

Boy and his dog

Kids with Fish Balloons

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

High Riders of the Old West

'Can Anna come out and ride?'

Sulk Shows

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Teddy Bear

'That's the last time I ask you to tie my shoe laces!'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

Kids and Mobile Addictions

"Jeez, these things are hot."

'OK...now what?'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."