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"I don't like it already."

"Curtain going up. Third act – and the bitter disappointment it is."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"It's a play on words."

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

William Shakespeare

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

Midsummer Night's Dream

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics! (Published originally on February 9, 2013).

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

The Modern Godot

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

Off Off Off Off Broadway

'The theater better put on good shows this fall, because we're having a bumper tomato crop.'

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

What a lousy season - there hasn't been a good comedy in months.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'

Edmund Kean Supporting Drury Lane

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

"I sensed a fine balance between the misery on the stage and the misery in the audience."

'My Alfa Romeo, My Alfa Romeo, where for art thou?'