Plastic Appearance Enthusiast Gifts

"Susan tells me you've had some work done."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'You do Botox?'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

La Dame aux Camelias

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Do you have something cheap but with a really expensive label?"

'A neighbour of mine has just come in - put 'em in a size 4 box, will you?'

'I told you to keep the rice in a plastic bag.'

"Oh, phew, good news - #5s are recyclable."

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

Cosmetic pouches.

Mid century modern. Midwest boring

'The grass is plastic, too.'

The Abbe- For Beardsley's Story 'Under the Hill'

"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."

'I went under the knife. Do you like?'

"I ran out of plastic skin, so I grafted on her credit cards!"

'Anything else you want fixing, while I'm taking the mole off your nose?'

The Lawn Gegnome Project

'Wax Lipped Cow'.

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'

'She looks good because it's not natural. It's all plastic.'

"Most drug lords evade capture by making smarter choices with plastic surgery."

Old man - 'Who are you?' Glamorous lady - 'Your wife for 57 years back from plastic surgery!'