Planting Sage Pillows

"I'm 92 years old, Larry ... why in the heck would I plant perennials?!"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Dog stretching before a walk.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

Fumes from furniture

The Authentic Christmas.

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

Saguaro Cacti.

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

A fortune cookie for investors.

The Stock Market and Personal Income.

This salad tastes funky� Is this ranch dressing? Oh, I'm sorry, sir� I thought you ordered raunch dressing.

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

China gets capitalistic in its own way...: 'The Tao is up!'

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

"My stupid yoga mat is broken!"