Planning A Funeral T-Shirts

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

'I just don't understand why our Buy One Get One Free offer on coffins isn't popular!'

'Quit blubbering. This is why I hate taking you shopping.'

"What about you? Would you rather leave a stump or be mulched and scattered?"

"What will it take to put one of you two into a brand-new Eterna-5000 today?"

'I want to be buried next to a physician!'

"...and our cremation options include french fried, baked, roasted and hash browned."

"Well...in that case you could consider our eco burial."

'You'd look good in that.'

Very well, will that be paper or plastic?

'I want to be buried in the smoking section!'

A wife is reading about funeral directors at her husband's hospital bedside.

"This one's a favorite with the fellas. All leather interior and that new car smell."

"All we have left is standing room only."

He looks so natural lying there...

'He loved that dog.'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'He was a great writer'

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"I guess laughter wasn’t the best medicine."

Life after death

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

Amy Winehouse, up in Rock N' Roll heaven.

Life and Death

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'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

Cricketer's funeral

'He never listened to his mother!'

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates