Pitchfork Aficionado T-Shirts

"Intern."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

Geese's Thoughts.

"Lovely dovetail."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

The Harper Plays Cricket.

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

'Any questions?'

'You want to run that by me again?'

'Are you going to do anything about that thieving magpie?'

"Mating display of the white-bellied boobie"

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'This is just a routine, sir - step out of the car and do the hokey-pokey.'

'Wrong fork. Good Lord, man, don't you have any table manners?'

"Fantastic business concept! I'm sure with that we'll convince the bank to give us a 87,000,000 Euro loan!"

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

'Bird menu.'

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

Bird sees 'No Vacancy' sign on birdhouse

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'