Pioneer Life Lover T-Shirts

"When we circle the wagons, you don't have to keep signalling."

Lamb Noise.

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

Desert Island Fantasies

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

Michael Jackson: The thriller of entertainment.

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"You spoil those pterodactyls!"

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

"I can't afford to feed you."

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

Ancient Farming Practises.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

"Now do you believe me?"

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

"I think we should get a dog."

COW. JUST COW.

Davy Crocat

'He says he too would be grinning were he to be adored all over the world.'

Fresh Pears / Ripe Plums / Juicy Gossip

"In the Wild Wild West, we say, if it isn't yours, DON'T TAKE IT..."

'Your uncle had a very unusual will.'

'Mike, all I'm saying is, 'Fred' is fine, but 'David' has a nicer ring to it!'