Pilot T-Shirts

"And they'll remain in captivity until they are fully rehabilitated and able to fly again."

"Don't worry—he surrounds himself with good people."

"This is coach class. Let's lose the smile."

'This one's for coffee.'

'I need a plane I can fly high enough each day to smoke my cigars without offending anyone.'

A man in an airplane shoos away geese

"Someone must love someone very much indeed."

"Right, the next couple through we'll strip search!"

"OK, head on down then take the second lane on the right, hang a left then first right, up ahead is the runway. You can't miss it."

"This is so cool! I'm flying this thing completely on my Palm pilot!"

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

'On the plus side folks, we'll be landing way, way ahead of schedule.'

'Trade you seats?'

Airplane Seatbelts

The latest innovation in air travel: convertible jets.

'So we're predicting a nice comfortable flight today folks, unless of course we run into any cloud cover.'

Flying 101: Keep landings equal to take offs.

"At this time I'd like to ask you to remain calm, fasten your seat belt and flap your arms just as fast as you can."

A sky writer writes, 'Thank you.'

'You can relax now, ladies and gentlemen, , , we're through all of that rough turbulence,'

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

Man Jumps Out Of Plane With No Parachute.

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

"I don't know. What do you want to do?"

"In case of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you for two dollars."

"Maybe they've oversimplified the cockpit controls."

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

Einstein discovers that time can stop completely.

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'He must be going economy!'

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

'That's New.'

'Oops' Plane crash